About moods, carbs and chocolate...

I have been in a grumpy, foul and just plain irritable mood since Friday. I'm tired, I'm upset, I can't get motivated, I just want to give up on it all and hide under a blanket. This kind of behaviour is, as my husband duly noted, cyclical and temporary, thank goodness (I actually find it ironic that he seems to know my cycles better than me at this point). But it does bring up a conandrum: How do you nurture your self when you don't feel like it? How do you feed your body whole, healthy food that nurture when what you're really craving is junk food and its euphoric "feel good" fix? Is a craving your body's way of asking for what it truly needs or a mind's trick learned to ward-off negative moods? How do you elevate your mood, confidence and motivation when you feel defeated?

These are some of the questions I struggled with this week-end, as I lived on pasta (with butter) and chocolate. I'm afraid I didn't find any mind-blowing answers. Three days of carb and chocolate indulgences later, I feel gross and am trying to fend off the thoughts that want me to see my indulgences as failures. Instead, I'm choosing to see this week-end as a teachable moment, an opportunity to ask myself how do I prepare for the next time my negative moods come back (as they will in roughly 28 days). I think the only answer I came up with is that the only way to nurture myself in these days of feeling low, is if I have a plan in place and a strategy in mind. I'm not sure what my self-care plan is going to look like, but I have four weeks to come up with it which gives me ample time to come up with ideas. How about you? How do you nurture your "Me" when you're feeling low?

Today, I took care of my "Me" by being gentle with myself and not engaging in self-defeating thoughts. I also connected with friends, read a book that made me laugh, and stared at the sunlight while trying to absorb every ray. How about you? How did you take care of your Me today?

Narcissistic, Selfish or just Plain Genius?

It's taken me some time to work up the courage to create this new blog. After all, who would be interested in reading the adventures of someone devoted to spending a whole lot of time working on her very important self?  Who would care? And why would I be doing this in the first place? Sharing my intimate mental conversations with myself and what I do to make "Me" feel good no matter what the day brings might be just plain boring and unappealing to the masses.

But then again maybe not. After all, I believe that I am one of many women who consistently puts herself last on the to-do list, who has lost a sense of who she is under the pile of obligations, and who spends most days waging a war in her head between satisfying her needs versus that of others. If I'm right about this, then maybe my efforts at trying to put my "Me" back front and centre day after day can inspire other women (and maybe men) to do the same for themselves. Because, though it may sound narcisstic to want to spend a whole lot of time caring for "me", the reality is, as the eminent Dr Phil says: "If Mommy ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Now, I'm not a big fan of Dr Phil, but this is one statement that rings profoundly true to me.

My resolution this year, and at the onset of this journey, is to treat myself as though I would treat my best friend. Have you noticed how nice and generous we can be to the people we love most, and even to perfect strangers? We spend hours on end giving our whole to the benefit of others, without realizing that the person that needs nurturing the most is the "me" inside us. I have been a nurturer and a pleaser for most of my adult life. I did it with love, without restraint, I gave it my whole. In the process, I forgot about "Me". Physically, this has meant weight gain, body image issues and a slow descent into physical self-loathing. Emotionally, it has lead to frustrations, anger, anxiety and the feeling of being drained and having nothing left to give. And that, here, is the heart of the matter my friends: if you give out too much without putting anything in, your burn out and have nothing left to give.

So the journey on the path of learning the best ways to love, nurture and appreciate the "me" inside, is neither narcissistic nor selfish. In my humble opinion, it is plain and pure genius. Every day, I resolve to do one thing to take care of me and I will share my daily act of self-kindness. I'll be looking for ideas too, so don't be shy and help me out.

I hope that this journey will help me rediscover the great person that I am and in the process I know that by treating "me" with love and respect, it will make me a better wife, mother, daughter and friend.

Today's act of "Me" kindness: writing this blog. I very often let fear come in the way of achieving even the most simple of tasks, because I lack self-confidence. I often don't trust in my own power and prefer to let my worries over what others will think dominate my desire to do something just because it makes me happy. Each little step that I take in combating that fear brings me closer to my authentic "me" who wants to soar and be successful. So tonight's blog creation and blog entry is a defiant action to let go of self-reducing fears and choose to let "me" soar once again.

How about you? What have you done for your "me" today?