Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Narcissistic, Selfish or just Plain Genius?

It's taken me some time to work up the courage to create this new blog. After all, who would be interested in reading the adventures of someone devoted to spending a whole lot of time working on her very important self?  Who would care? And why would I be doing this in the first place? Sharing my intimate mental conversations with myself and what I do to make "Me" feel good no matter what the day brings might be just plain boring and unappealing to the masses.

But then again maybe not. After all, I believe that I am one of many women who consistently puts herself last on the to-do list, who has lost a sense of who she is under the pile of obligations, and who spends most days waging a war in her head between satisfying her needs versus that of others. If I'm right about this, then maybe my efforts at trying to put my "Me" back front and centre day after day can inspire other women (and maybe men) to do the same for themselves. Because, though it may sound narcisstic to want to spend a whole lot of time caring for "me", the reality is, as the eminent Dr Phil says: "If Mommy ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Now, I'm not a big fan of Dr Phil, but this is one statement that rings profoundly true to me.

My resolution this year, and at the onset of this journey, is to treat myself as though I would treat my best friend. Have you noticed how nice and generous we can be to the people we love most, and even to perfect strangers? We spend hours on end giving our whole to the benefit of others, without realizing that the person that needs nurturing the most is the "me" inside us. I have been a nurturer and a pleaser for most of my adult life. I did it with love, without restraint, I gave it my whole. In the process, I forgot about "Me". Physically, this has meant weight gain, body image issues and a slow descent into physical self-loathing. Emotionally, it has lead to frustrations, anger, anxiety and the feeling of being drained and having nothing left to give. And that, here, is the heart of the matter my friends: if you give out too much without putting anything in, your burn out and have nothing left to give.

So the journey on the path of learning the best ways to love, nurture and appreciate the "me" inside, is neither narcissistic nor selfish. In my humble opinion, it is plain and pure genius. Every day, I resolve to do one thing to take care of me and I will share my daily act of self-kindness. I'll be looking for ideas too, so don't be shy and help me out.

I hope that this journey will help me rediscover the great person that I am and in the process I know that by treating "me" with love and respect, it will make me a better wife, mother, daughter and friend.

Today's act of "Me" kindness: writing this blog. I very often let fear come in the way of achieving even the most simple of tasks, because I lack self-confidence. I often don't trust in my own power and prefer to let my worries over what others will think dominate my desire to do something just because it makes me happy. Each little step that I take in combating that fear brings me closer to my authentic "me" who wants to soar and be successful. So tonight's blog creation and blog entry is a defiant action to let go of self-reducing fears and choose to let "me" soar once again.

How about you? What have you done for your "me" today?


  1. Thanks for sharing what many of us feel and can't explain or are afraid to tell !
    You're such an inspiration to me !
    First thing done to "me" this morning ? Starbucks...it may sounds simple but i just love to step in and order my fav drink, it gives me the kick start of the day !

  2. There is nothing in here that I don't agree with. Be that inspiration, if not to others then at least to yourself.
    I did the best thing for "me" yesterday. I sat and had a Bridgehead chai, brownie and read a great book - all by myself.

    Keep it coming Em, you are fabulous!

  3. Love this. Apart from being well written and insightful (of course) it is a great message. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, then you would know without a doubt that you are amazing and can do anything! I can't wait to read about your continuing adventures and will be checking in every day to find out what you are up to - no pressure!

    My act of self kindness today was hanging out with my fantastic friend and having lunch. You should meet her, she's great company ; ) Hope to do it again soon xxx