Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Scaredy Cat

I have always admired people who are bold and unafraid and chase their dreams without fear, without holding back. I'm not one of those people and it sucks. There is not a day that go by when I don't feel fear in my gut, a fear that so far I have been unable to shake in a way that helps "Me" move forward and grow.

Right now, the fear is about going back to work. In September, my youngest will be going to school full time which will allow me to work once again. I have been home for almost 9 years now, and though I have worked from home on-and-off these last 9 years, being home with the kids was always my priority. There are a few reasons why I need to go back to work, but I find myself having stage-fright and seem unable to make any decisions about what I will do, which leaves "Me" feeling small and unable to move forward.

That's Me in my shell, afraid to stand tall and brave the world. My shell is my house and life as I know it now.
The options within my midst are full of opportunities. Though I have made peace with the idea that right now, I cannot be a birth doula regularly, I am hoping to transition to postpartum work and breastfeeding support. I would also like to start teaching Lamaze classes again, and Breastfeeding preparation classes as well. My main motivation for teaching is that, except for a very small number of classes, I find that most expectant couples do not receive a preparation for birth and postpartum that truly benefits them. I teach for an organization that only offers one-day birth preparation classes during which I can only devote 10 mn to the immediate postpartum period and 10 mn to breastfeeding. Teaching these classes in very frustrating because I can't look these couples in the eyes and tell them without a doubt that after my classes, they'll be ready for birth and parenthood. No way.

So it's not the motivation that prevents me from doing all these things, it's the execution. I always get pumped up about my ideas, but then fear rolls its ugly head and starts chipping away at my motivation. I'm afraid about having to call people and asking them for something (for exemple, asking strangers about renting space to teach classes), I'm afraid about the commitment and the responsibility of putting my ideas into execution. I'm afraid that I will let people down and that they will hate my classes, and me. I'm afraid that I'm not competent enough (I mean, who am I really to think I can do this). I'm afraid with how these decisions will affect my family (if I work evenings and week-ends, how will my kids get to their activities....we only have one working car right now). Will they resent Mom for not being there on week-nights and week-ends? I'm afraid of letting colleagues and friends down. I'm afraid they'll think I'm a quitter (because of my past maybe) or just not-committed to the cause. I'm afraid that they'll think less of me because these colleagues/friends matter a lot to me.

That's just a small sample of what goes on in my head and how fear takes over...every day. To say that I'm energized and ready to take on the world would be the biggest lie. I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting with fear. I want fear to let me go and get out of my life. I want to be bold, and brave and make my dreams happen. Instead, I continue to let fear dictate what my life is. It sucks. It hurts. It leaves me in pieces.

My therapist has encouraged me to sit with my fear, so I can better understand it. The more you fight it, she says, the more power it has over you. So I've tried. I've tried to just feel the fear, connect with it, understand it. I know what it's about. It's about confidence, it's about my history about pleasing people. Understanding it hasn't made it any less powerful at this point. There are days when I can feel the fear and, because it's a day when I feel good, I can stare it down and say "I know I'm afraid, but I have to do it anyways." Small victories are achieved on that day. Yesterday, for example, I managed to finally send an e-mail to a store owner about renting the space (it took me three weeks to work up the courage). The rest of the day, the fear had doubled in intensity because now that I done this, what would happen next? If the person said yes, now it meant that I actually had to do it and make it happen. If she said no, the fear was that now I'd have to go and talk to someone else about  renting a space. Then there are other days, when I'm not feeling good (insert tired, PMS) and then the fear cripples me to the point where I can't do anything at all to move my ideas and dream forward. Instead, I turn around in circles, check my e-mail, facebook, or favourite sites about 100 times a day, and hate myself for letting fear stop me from achieving anything.

At this point, I don't have a strategy. Breathing through the fear doesn't work. Exercising could work at giving me confidence, but lately, it has been put in the back burner (10 days of sick kids at home with no time for Me will do that). Talking myself down sometimes works but most of the time doesn't. There is something that my therapist said to me the other day that helped a little. When talking about a decision her daughter was agonizing over, she told her daughter "why worry about this right now? We're not there yet. Let's get step 1 done first. When that's done, then you'll see what your options are and which one feels right." I thought that was great advice...Her daughter is lucky that her mom is such an amazing mother who happens to be a therapist. As it relates to me, maybe I could talk down my fear if I broke my dreams into small steps and only thought about them one at a time.

Something else was revealing to me the other day. I was reading the January edition of "O" the Oprah Magazine and she was talking about creating her television network. A question in the interview was "Did you feel any fear" about creating the network, and Oprah responded: "I have never felt such fear in all my life". I was stunned. What do you mean Oprah feels fear? She is one of the most successful woman in television history and she's still scared? I know it sounds naive to think that this confident, amazing, accomplished, successful woman can be shielded from fear, but at the same time, reading that she was afraid of starting something new made me feel...normal (rather than the self-loathing "fucked up" I feel about myself sometimes).  She then talks about how she managed the anxiety. She says "There was an underlying instinct that this was a divine opportunity and I had to separate the opportunity from the fear of it (.....) For anybody who is thinking about taking a risk, you have to always come back to: What are your fundamental beliefs about yourself and your reason for doing whatever? So I thought, Well if it doesn't work (the network), that still doesn't take away the reason I wanted to do it." And I would add, it doesn't take away from anything you accomplished so far, or were trying to accomplish.

What is most frustrating to Me, is that I know I have been given a gift. I am good at what I do and it drives me crazy that I let the fear prevent me from taking the next step forward. In the end, I think the difference between Me and the people I admire is not that I have fear and they don't. Rather, it's that when they feel the fear, they don't let themselves be stopped by it. They work with it and manage to overcome it.

How do you get past fears? What is your relationship with fear? How do you cope with fear? I look forward to reading your comments about it.

Today, writing about my fears and opening up feels very good, so my Me is happy. I'm also hoping to paint my nails today, so that the colour I paint them (bold red) will inspire me to be bold too.

What will you do for your Me today?

Thursday, February 17, 2011

A daily gift

In the span of a week, I have learned of four people passing away. In the last two days alone, three. Since January, this brings the total of loved ones that my friends have lost to seven. I have not personally lost anyone dear to me in the last few years, but I share in my friends' grief. Most deaths were from age, others from sickness. None of the reasons make the loss any less painful.

I have never, ever had a time when so many people died around me in such a small amount of time. Of course, being human and questioning, I'm wondering if this is the Universe trying to send a message. And if it is (though my husband would just say, it's a coincidence, get over it), then I'm sure the message is simple. Live your life as though each day was your last. Enjoy the moments and don't get bogged down by the daily stressors that suck your life away. Simple yes, but put in practice? We often forget how precious our life is, and how much this gift of life needs to be treasured and embraced every day. I have to tell you that my heart jumped a couple of beats this afternoon when I got a call from the Principal and her first words were: "I have something to tell you and it's really bad news." For a few seconds, I thought something bad had happened to Jaime (she was the only one at school then, Austin still being home sick) and panic set in. When the Principal told me that one of our teachers had passed away, I felt a mix of intense relief and overwhelming sadness for this teacher who had been with our school her entire teaching career. The Principal called because I'm co-chair of the parent council and she needed to let us know. But in the split second before I knew who she was talking about, the words "I have some terrible news" were a BIG reminder of what I could lose. It's pretty sad that we need these reminders to reframe and remember to make the most of our precious, precious life.

I have had a week where I let the little things get to me and suck my life away. Though I'm very sad and sorry for my friends' loss, I am grateful for the Universe's reminder that the breath, the heart, the body and the brain that sustain me are a privilege that needs to be honoured now and every single day.

Let's all take a great big breath, and count ourselves lucky that we still have the opportunity to live, to laugh, to love and to enjoy all that life has to offer, the good, the bad and the ugly.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Anger Management and a man-cold for laughs

Today was just one of those days. Sigh. I'm trying to not let the anger overcome me. Anger is not productive, it doesn't solve anything, and is just a gut reaction that disguises the real root of my upset. I've learned when I feel anger and rage to question what is at the root of these violent reactions. And when anger shows up in my gut and wounds its way up to my chest to the point when I just want to scream, I'm usually good at recognizing the signs, taking a deep breath or walking away until I cool down. Today, I had a really hard time to stay cool, while feeling pulled in many different directions.

My oldest started feeling sick yesterday, and from the sound of his voice and the look on his face, I knew that it wasn't going to be a "little" sickness. He came to our room at 4:30 a.m. feeling sore and achy, and after a round of motrin, lied down with me and tossed and turned uncomfortable until 6 a.m. when he went back to sleep. I crept out of bed, unable to go back to sleep, and got the day started. The other two munchkins and Tyler got up close to 7 a.m. and though they were super quiet, Austin was back up shortly after that. He was feeling gross and cranky, and the fatigue didn't help. I knew that the morning I had planned of workout/work was now gone as I had to stay by his side. By the time Logan got home at 11 a.m., Austin was feeling worse and even though I had been by his side all morning, I felt like I had to throw Logan in front of the computer to get him out of the way, so I could continue my watch over mister sick-and-demanding. Can you tell the resentment and anger was building? Argh.

I won't go into every detail of my day, but as I felt the anger rising slowly and surely, I understood the roots of my discontent and was left feeling frustrated. It's not that I resented taking care of my sick child, or that I was angry at him for being sick in the first place. No, I took care of him because I wanted to be by his side and give him some comfort as best I could. I could easily have stuck him in front of the TV and eclipsed myself to do my work, but I chose to forgo the work and sit next to him instead.

The anger came from the sense of feeling split in all directions and feeling my head spin as all my to-dos and guilts waltzed in my head. I was angry that I couldn't be at peace with taking care of him and it being enough. I was angry that I hadn't been able to do my work, yet when I sat in front of the computer with 10 minutes to myself, I couldn't focus and achieve anything either. I was mad that Logan had more than his share of computer/movies today so I could be with his brother. I was annoyed when I reluctantly gave in and made banana bread with Logan after he pleaded to please, please, please make it together, to have him announce once all the ingredients were on the table, that he didn't feel like it anymore (too bad buddy, you're gonna anyways). I was angry when I thought that for once I wished I could be a full-time working parent so I could escape my madhouse and be alone. And I was angry with myself when I snapped at Jaime cause she just happened to be there when I lost my patience. The biggest straw was pulled when after all this, the thought came to my head that today was a day during which I accomplished nothing. Are you kidding me?! The moment the thought came on, my anger came to a peak, and then I let it go. Because this may not have been the day where I achieved all that I had planned to do, but the day I made the right choices and accomplished the most important of jobs: I was there for my kid, the rest be damned.

As the anger died down, and the frustrations lost their grounding, I gained perspective and my rational mind took over the raw emotions. I know the bad days happen, and when they do, they absolutely suck. But I also know that when the day comes to an end, today will be a day in the past and tomorrow will come and will bring with it a clean slate of opportunities. Austin is still going to be sick tomorrow and I hope I can approach the day with less expectations. It will be as it will be. And if all I can do is sit next to him and read, I'll be happy to do it.

I do feel that I need to do something very special for my "Me" tonight, to refuel and give myself some "Me" love too. So tonight I will not stay on my computer and attempt to "catch up" on work that needs to be done. Instead, I will go and curl on the couch with a book that will transport me to another world and make me dream. I might also indulge in a cup of tea and bite of chocolate. After a hard day, it's the little things in life that give you the biggest boost.

I want to finish on a funny note tonight, and post a video that came to my mind a few times today and gave me the opportunity to chuckle when I was feeling ready to burst. I hope to God that Austin doesn't turn into this melodramatic guy with a man-cold, but humour does make one feel better. Enjoy!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Love by definition

Happy Valentine's day everyone. Today is the day to celebrate the special love and bond you feel for a very special bunch of people. But did you remember to say "I LOVE YOU" to the most important person in your world? Yes, I am talking about your "Me". Did you wake up this morning and say to yourself, "I love myself and am so grateful for being the person that I am"? I doubt many of you did. Well, first of all, it might sound corny to wake up and tell yourself how much you adore your "Me", especially first thing in the morning with bad breath and bed head in tow. But why not? Love starts with you. And if you acknowledge the love you have for yourself, and start to feel it deep within your core, that love will gain new strength, multiply and spread outward tenfolds to the people you love most in your life. But more important, when you affirm the love you feel for your "Me" everyday, you give yourself a gift that noone else can give you, which allows you to spread your wings, gives you confidence and joy to achieve all you desire.

If you can't see yourself saying "I LOVE ME" every day, then ask yourself "why don't I?" What is it about you that makes it hard for you to say "I love everything that I am". Is your body image dragging your love for "Me" down? Are you angry with a part of you that makes it hard to love who you really are? Though it may be hard to ask these questions and face the uncomfortable feelings, try and approach this process from a non-emotional stand point. Your questioning should be based on curiosity, not judgment. The goal here is to uncover the layers of discontent, so you can then face them head on and question whether your dislike is valid or not. For example, I was watching TLC's What Not To Wear the other day, and the contestant had severe body image issues. Every time she tried on a garment, she accused her body of being too fat, inadequate and just horrible. She was extremely emotional about the clothes not fitting, and you could really tell her love for her "Me" was abysmal. So the hosts helped by showing her that rather than focus on the fact that her body was wrong, she should shift her perspective 360 degrees to understand that there was nothing wrong with her body, simply that some clothes weren't meant for it. It wasn't about her body at all. Her body was just fine the way it was, but the clothes either worked for it or did not. Was her dislike for herself valid? In the end, she was able to choose clothes and accessories that made her look and feel beautiful and her love for her "Me" grew from nothing to new heights in no time at all. We may not have $5,000 to change our wardrobe to make us feel better about our "Me", but the point is that whenever you say "I really hate my butt because it makes me look huge", ask yourself if it is a valid statement. Honestly, even if your butt is big, it doesn't mean that it makes you any less appealing that a flat butted chick. Have you seen Kim Kardashian's butt? Or J-Lo's? (Ok, I know this reference to celebrities is not about what real women look like, but honestly, the point is that we look up to celebrities as the ideal for body image, so if their big butt is deemed beautiful, then it must mean that ours isn't half bad either). A big butt can be extremely gorgeous and sexy. So your argument isn't valid. And so now, it's time to stop the hate talk and look at your sexy butt in a new way, or to any other parts of your Me you have a hate relationship with (it doesn't have to be physical. Sometimes the things we hate most are the deeper emotional or personality traits we carry).

Still too much of a stretch for you? If you can't see yourself loving your "Me" completely just yet, then focus on a few things about your "Me" that you absolutely and unconditionally love. It doesn't have to be something physical. It can be a trait of character, something that makes you unique and lovable just as you are. Once you have found a couple of things you really love, embrace them and start saying "I love these things about "Me"" every day. Your love for "Me" will start growing, and growing, and growing, until you love those little things so much, you forget the ones that were bugging you in the first place.

One thing I know for sure is that the process of loving your "Me" can be a hard journey of introspection, facing fears, and letting go. But once you start feeling the love, the power you feel within you is worth all the hard work. Without self-love, there is no love. Plain and simple. You can't love others genuinely, until you are ready to embrace and love all that you are.

The numbers refer to the finish time of my first ever half-marathon. A gift to myself.

Happy Valentine's Day to all your "Me".

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Reality Check

I let it happen again. I have coveted that which I cannot have, and what's worse, I have felt ashamed of what I am because of some stupid ideal of what I think I should be. My stupid ideals. I'm sure you've had those thoughts at times too, and if you don't, then I'm proud of you. But when I have these thoughts, this is what they sound like:

- I am less than you because you are more beautiful;
- I am less worthy because you are more fit and slim;
- I am less than you because I don't have a big house like you;
- I am less than you because I can't afford the clothes on your back;
- I am less than you because I can't cook or sew or garden or knit as you so perfectly do;
- I am ashamed because I don't have your confidence, positive spirit, or happy disposition;
- I like me less because I love what you represent, the things I cannot have and never will have because they are not me.

And because those thoughts make me feel low and inadequate, I blame you who has what I covet. It's easier to blame you than to face the fact that I am the one to blame. Here's why: Everytime I long for something in me that I cannot have, I am denying who I really am, and by saying "I wish I were/I had/I could" I am slapping myself in the face and failing to embrace the gifts that I have been given. Eleanor Roosevelt said it best when she said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." And on a day like today when I look at other women and feel inferior because I don't have what they possess, I remember Roosevelt's words of wisdom and realize that the feeling of shame and inadequacy is mine and mine alone. No one has made me feel this way, but me.

The fabulous, wise and inspiring Eleanor Roosevelt

So today, I resolve once again, to stop coveting and focus on acceptance and gratefulness. Because I may not have the big house, but I have a big heart. I may not have fancy clothes, but I have the deepest love. I may not tend to gardens, but I care for people. I may not be slim but my body is beautiful and strong, and I have a half-marathon medal to prove. And did I mention my boobs? Well, let's just say that they're real, and they're spectacular!

Valentine's day is coming soon, so how about we all write our "Me" a nice and honest love letter. I think we deserve to tell ourselves all the great things that make "Me" so fabulous, and we should not have to wait for somebody else to let us know why we rock. I'm not saying that you shouldn't look forward to your hubby and kids singing your praises, but I think it would be an even bigger gift to your "Me" if you celebrated all that you are. Nothing more, nothing less. So go on, grab a pen and paper and let it flow. This is from you to you. No one else will be privy to it. So don't be afraid. Just write from the heart. And love yourself, no matter what.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Time is on my side

It's  been a week since my last post and when I realized this, the only thought that came through my head was: "WTF?" A week has gone by and really, I have no idea where the time went. It's as if some unknown alien device had decided to lock into my brain and suck every single bit of memory from last week out of it. Oh no! Wait a minute, I remember....there was driving everywhere, there was gathering with friends, there was time spent doing the day-to-day managing of house and children (although with repeating the same chores/motions everyday, it's no wonder our brain stops noticing), and yes, best of all, there was the all-nighter holding a bowl for my daughter as she proceeded to empty the contents of her stomach every hour on the hour from 11 p.m. until 10 a.m. Really, it was a week like any other, where I just chase the clock and try to do all the things that need to be done and that I want to do cramed in a 14 hour timeframe from awake to asleep. 14 hours isn't that much to get shit done. Really. And so, I often am screaming in my head for someone, something, some way to please have the gift of one more hour in my day (thought two would be even better).

See that crazy rabbit? That's me chasing time every day!
All this chasing of time has left me physicall and emotionally TIRED! My "Me" has had enough. This isn't working for "Me" anymore, and so when I stumbled upon 168 hours by Laura Vanderkam, I was eager to see how I could use my time in less harried ways.

See, the funny thing about time is that it is influenced by our perception. When we are bored to tears, minutes last a lifetime. When we are deeply involved in something we love, time seems to fly by and last only seconds. When we're looking forward to something happening, time seems to drag on and take forever. Yet when we are dreading something uncomfortable, time plays tricks and we're soon facing the unwanted. But, the reality is that time is a constant. Minutes last 60 seconds. Hours last 60 minutes. Days last 24 hours. Time does not waver and time does not discriminate. We are all given the same gift of time, every single day. This is Vanderkam's predominant point and her premise for writing 168 hours.  She begins her book by talking about Theresa Daytner, a woman who makes it a point to go out on an hour long hike on a particular morning because it is sunny out, and it would be a shame to not go out an enjoy the day. Vanderkam goes on a bit more about Daytner who seems to have an easy, well-managed daily life which might lead us to think that she's lucky and has more time to play with than others. But here's the thing, Theresa Daytner is the CEO of a multi-million dollar corporation and a very involved mother to 6 children, and she volunteers her time as well. When Daytner attended a White House luncheon, upon hearing her story, President Obama looked at her stunned and asked her "Do you ever sleep?" We are all amazed at people who seem to have the ability to accomplish so much and we hold them on pedestals with justifications of our own inability to make time our friend rather than our enemy. Vanderkam spends a lot of time talking about the myth of the time crunch, which happens to be the number one concern of most people today. Yet all of us have the same 168 hours per week to choose to do whatever we want to do with. Not enough time to exercise? If you decide to work out 5 hours a week, you'll still have 163 hours to do other things with. I won't bore you with all the calculations, but recommend that you check the book out if you're interested. It is mind-opening.

What really struck with me about this book, is this: I have more time than I think. When I first came to that realization, I refused it. No way! I don't have enough time! Then I started to think about my days and how I spend my time, and you know what? Turns out I really do have lots of time, I just sometimes chose to spend it on the wrong things. If I hadn't surfed the net for 30 minutes, I would have been able to do this other thing I keep saying I want to do, but never do because I don't have enough time. Kind of silly when you think about it right?

When asked by Vanderkan what she thought was different about her that made her so successful at working with time, Theresa Daytner said: "Here's what I think is the difference. I know I'm in charge of me. Everything that I do, every minute that I spend is my choice." When I read this statement, I was in awe and I felt a shift in my way of dealing with time. I have for the longest time, let time control me. All my actions, my choices, my dreams, my way of living was controlled with my perception that time was this Sword of Damocles dictating my life. Daytner's statement says the opposite: I am in control of my time. I choose when or how I spend my time. This way of seeing my relationship with time has been liberating and  empowering, to the point that I copied Daytner's statement and have posted it so I can be reminded everyday of my power to choose how I live my life and how I spend my time. And though I have not yet fully applied this concept of time to my life (last week was actually ironic considering this new found revelation) here's the difference in my life so far: I now ask myself if what I am doing is a good use of my precious time, if the activity I choose to spend my time on makes me happy, fulfills me, helps me grow, or not. If it doesn't, then it will go by the way side.

My "Me" is feeling reenergized by this new perception of time, and I am feeling strong and empowered. If you are interested in seeing how the 168 hours can work for you, you can go on Vanderkam's website and download a time sheet to help you track how you spend your time and help you make choices that will nurture your "Me" rather than deplete it. Today, I chose to write this blog and share this with you, and the 40 minutes I chose to spend writing it, were incredibly worth it.

What will you do for your Me today?

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Laugh it off!

I'm a person who takes everything way too seriously and most of the time, I don't even realize it. I just tend to see things through a permanent "things are doomed" lense and for the longest time, I wasn't even aware of how that tendency to see everything so seriously was dragging me down. It all became clear to me one Summer when my beloved cousin came to visit us in Ottawa almost 4 years ago. At the time, I was really feeling low. I was a mom to three young kids who had started a home-based business and was under tremendous pressure. One of my best friends and I had started the business together and become co-owners of a $20,000 loan and the pressure to succeed was getting to our friendship as well. Juggling it all was daunting, but the worse of it was that this friend tended to favour drama and negativity, and I absorbed it and reflected it back. We ended up feeding the seriousness, negativity and drama off of each other and things were not good at all. On the surface, we smiled and pretended all was good.

When my cousin showed up, she brought with her a breath of fresh air, and her beautiful, incredible and exhilirating sense of humour. My cousin always laughs. She cracks up jokes. She loves having fun. She is witty, funny, and always laughing. Within two days of being with her and laughing till my sides ached, I realized what was so wrong in my life. I had forgotten to laugh.

My Cousin Vero, on the right, always brings out my crazy, funny side!

It didn't take long for me to find my funny back and to start lightening up about many things. My cousin's visit also made me realized that I had to be careful about who I wanted in my life, and who was not a good fit for me. I had to break up a friendship that was very negative to me, and though it was very hard to do, I knew I had to do it in order to live a happy (and funny!) life.

To this day, I remember this important lesson and when things weigh a little too heavily on me, I try to remember to laugh. I know my predisposition is not to be "funny". I am a worry-wart by nature so I don't lighten up easily. Even with my writing, I am a serious person. Some people can write funny, and be funny by nature. For me, it takes work and effort to be funny. But when I am, it always makes me feel so good and it makes "Me" very, very happy.

Here are some of the things I do to try to laugh every day, especially in those moments when "serious" tries to take over:

- Read funny novels: Have you ever read Christopher Moore? This guy is on crack and his writing is blissfully funny. Right now I'm reading his novel "Bite Me", about a teenage girl who takes on Vampire-zombie cats. Definitely worth the read, just for the pure crazyness of it. Also from Moore, try reading "Lamb: The gospel according to Biff, Jesus's childhood pal".

- Read funny blogs: I'm a big fan of Heather Armstrong at Her posts make me laugh so hard. She is a brave and funny writer and because she is a work at home Mom, her life is similar to mine in ways that make me just laugh hard. I especially loved her birth story. I was laughing so hard I almost lost it before reaching the bathroom! Just google "Dooce birth story" if you are interested. It's a three-part story.

- Hang-out with funny people: laughter is contageous!

- Watch America's funniest Videos: I watch it with the kids and I can't believe how much I laugh every time. The videos that get me the most are the animal videos. Which brings me to this last strategy:

- Watch funny cat videos on YouTube: When all else fails, YouTube has an abundance of funny cat videos/or dogs/ or anything that sometimes helps me change my mood from sour and serious, to laughing hysterically in a split second.

It's silly to laugh and it feels so good. When was the last time you were laughing so hard, you couldn't breathe? How about the giggles that never stop? Time to start laughing my friends, it is so good for your "Me"!

On this snowy, no school, kind of day, what will you do for your "Me" today? I had planned to work out, but with the kids around, I'm not sure it will happen. So maybe I'll try to do some silly dancing and singing in the kitchen with the radio blarring. The kids always think I'm crazy when I do it, which makes me laugh, and feel so very good!

Have a great day!