Love by definition

Happy Valentine's day everyone. Today is the day to celebrate the special love and bond you feel for a very special bunch of people. But did you remember to say "I LOVE YOU" to the most important person in your world? Yes, I am talking about your "Me". Did you wake up this morning and say to yourself, "I love myself and am so grateful for being the person that I am"? I doubt many of you did. Well, first of all, it might sound corny to wake up and tell yourself how much you adore your "Me", especially first thing in the morning with bad breath and bed head in tow. But why not? Love starts with you. And if you acknowledge the love you have for yourself, and start to feel it deep within your core, that love will gain new strength, multiply and spread outward tenfolds to the people you love most in your life. But more important, when you affirm the love you feel for your "Me" everyday, you give yourself a gift that noone else can give you, which allows you to spread your wings, gives you confidence and joy to achieve all you desire.

If you can't see yourself saying "I LOVE ME" every day, then ask yourself "why don't I?" What is it about you that makes it hard for you to say "I love everything that I am". Is your body image dragging your love for "Me" down? Are you angry with a part of you that makes it hard to love who you really are? Though it may be hard to ask these questions and face the uncomfortable feelings, try and approach this process from a non-emotional stand point. Your questioning should be based on curiosity, not judgment. The goal here is to uncover the layers of discontent, so you can then face them head on and question whether your dislike is valid or not. For example, I was watching TLC's What Not To Wear the other day, and the contestant had severe body image issues. Every time she tried on a garment, she accused her body of being too fat, inadequate and just horrible. She was extremely emotional about the clothes not fitting, and you could really tell her love for her "Me" was abysmal. So the hosts helped by showing her that rather than focus on the fact that her body was wrong, she should shift her perspective 360 degrees to understand that there was nothing wrong with her body, simply that some clothes weren't meant for it. It wasn't about her body at all. Her body was just fine the way it was, but the clothes either worked for it or did not. Was her dislike for herself valid? In the end, she was able to choose clothes and accessories that made her look and feel beautiful and her love for her "Me" grew from nothing to new heights in no time at all. We may not have $5,000 to change our wardrobe to make us feel better about our "Me", but the point is that whenever you say "I really hate my butt because it makes me look huge", ask yourself if it is a valid statement. Honestly, even if your butt is big, it doesn't mean that it makes you any less appealing that a flat butted chick. Have you seen Kim Kardashian's butt? Or J-Lo's? (Ok, I know this reference to celebrities is not about what real women look like, but honestly, the point is that we look up to celebrities as the ideal for body image, so if their big butt is deemed beautiful, then it must mean that ours isn't half bad either). A big butt can be extremely gorgeous and sexy. So your argument isn't valid. And so now, it's time to stop the hate talk and look at your sexy butt in a new way, or to any other parts of your Me you have a hate relationship with (it doesn't have to be physical. Sometimes the things we hate most are the deeper emotional or personality traits we carry).

Still too much of a stretch for you? If you can't see yourself loving your "Me" completely just yet, then focus on a few things about your "Me" that you absolutely and unconditionally love. It doesn't have to be something physical. It can be a trait of character, something that makes you unique and lovable just as you are. Once you have found a couple of things you really love, embrace them and start saying "I love these things about "Me"" every day. Your love for "Me" will start growing, and growing, and growing, until you love those little things so much, you forget the ones that were bugging you in the first place.

One thing I know for sure is that the process of loving your "Me" can be a hard journey of introspection, facing fears, and letting go. But once you start feeling the love, the power you feel within you is worth all the hard work. Without self-love, there is no love. Plain and simple. You can't love others genuinely, until you are ready to embrace and love all that you are.




The numbers refer to the finish time of my first ever half-marathon. A gift to myself.


Happy Valentine's Day to all your "Me".

Why the feeling of worthiness matters or "I am enough!"

I was all set to write about a reaction I got while watching an episode of the Oprah show today, when my friend Emma told me about this video. Beyond the fact that I truly enjoyed this wonderful speaker, it's the message that struck a cord with me.

It felt as though everything I had been trying to share through this blog was driven to the point in this particular talk. What was best articulated to me, was the truth that our own sense of worth has an impact not only on our own internal feelings of happiness and joy, but also on the world in which we live and the people we have connections with ("If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy").

It is so important to recognize that by loving ourselves as we are, by accepting our strengths and vulnerabilities, we are able to make ourselves stronger and more confident, and the power we get from that self-acceptance and self-love has a ripple effect on our ability to love and care for others and for the world we live in. As Dr Brown states: "We can't practice compassion with others if we can't treat ourselves kindly."

We, as individuals who treat our "Me" with the most gentle kindness and understanding, can have the power to transform our reality. Simply by accepting that you are beautiful just as you are, including your so-called flaws, and by acknowledging that you are worthy of love, affection, admiration, and kindness, you give yourself permission to tap into a power that is liberating and transforming. It takes courage to shup up the internal demons that tell you otherwise, but remember that the self-destructing thoughts are just that: thoughts and you can choose to listen to them, or to ignore them.

I invite you to take a deep look at your "Me", and to feel the love, because you are amazing, you are worthy, and you are enough just as you are.


Today I took care of "Me" by listening to some fun music and dancing and singing along. It always makes me happy when I dance and sing.

How about you? What have you done for your "Me" today?

Just be "Me"!

When was the last time you were really being your authentic self? If you're taking more than a few seconds to remember, then you might be in need of reclaiming your true "Me". Most days, we are all putting on an act to "be" someone that we might not necessarily be in order to fit in, or to pretend to "be" a certain way so as to not offend others. From putting a smile on our face when we really feel low, or saying "yes" when we really feel like "no". The problem is that every time we define ourselves to meet other's expectations, we lose our identity. So who is your real "Me"?

I've been struggling to define who my real "Me" is for the last year ever since I realized that I have spent many years trying to morph into a person that I wasn't. I was trying so hard to be like other people because I really wanted to "be" the person that I admire in them. One of my friend is an avid gardener and I admire the beauty of her gardens. I tried to garden and like it too, but I realize that I'm not and never will be a gardener. It's just not "Me". Diddo with many other things. Through the self-discovery process I started this year, I have realized how much of me is also defined by what I think other people would like me to be. Trying to love the same things as some of my friends so that they will love me and think I am worthy has been my guiding principle for a long time. But I have now realized that it's ok for me not to be like anyone else, and more important that no matter who "Me" is, I am worthy, I am special, and I am lovable for who I am. Making the decision to just be "Me" is liberating and empowering. So the question now is "What makes me "Me"?

At this point, I'm still trying to figure "Me" out, but a good starting point was to say, what do I truly like? What makes "Me" happy? What brings "Me" joy? Here's a short list of my "Me". It's an ever evolving list that I'm excited to compile as I start falling in love with "Me" again.

1. I am a reader
2. I am a food lover
3. I am a runner
4. I am a great friend
5. I am not a gardener (and that's ok)
6. I am not a homemaker (and that's ok too)
7. I love to sing and dance in my house, in my car
8. I am a dreamer
9. I am a mother
10. I am a wife

There are many more things that make "Me" a great person. What about you? Have you ever thought of writing down what makes you "You"? Try it, it's enlightening. In determining what makes you "You", it's important to listen to your gut feelings. If your head tells you that you really love gardening, but every time you see a spade, you feel deep down that you'd rather be running a half-marathon than playing in dirt, then listen to your gut reaction. It's ok to be different, and actually it's pretty awesome because by being different, we are all bringing into the world a very special piece that nobody else has.

Once you have started reconnecting with who you really are, then "BE" that person all the time. Honour the fact that what you are is different from others, and that it's ok. When you are truly acting like yourself, and really loving who you are, then it won't matter what others think or whether they will love you. If you love your "Me" then you won't need the validation of others to make you feel worthy and lovable. In a 1986 song by Whitney Houston titled "Greatest Love of All", the chorus declares that "Learning to love yourself/It is the greatest love of all." I couldn't agree more.

What I have done for "Me" so far today? I've lived in the moment, enjoyed a peaceful house, exercised and spent some time thinking about "Me". How about you? What have you done for your "Me" today?