When Being "Me" Inspires Others

"I've learned that loving yourself requires a courage unlike any other. It requires us to believe in and stay loyal to something no one else can see that keeps us in the world - our own self-worth" (Book of Awakenings by Mark Nepo. January 25th)

On Tuesday, while folding laundry, I put on the Oprah show. It was a retrospective show on the evolution of the discourse on being gay and coming out over the 20 years of the Oprah show. It spanned the changes in the public discourse from when "being gay" was taboo and shunned, to the present time when the public discourse is more focused on acceptance and an open dialogue. What allowed the evolution of the discourse was the courage of many individuals, including high-profile celebrities, to speak out and come out about being gay. One such individual featured on the Oprah show was Greg Louganis, who in 1995, chose to live an authentic life by coming out publicly and announcing that he was also HIV positive. At the time of his interview with Oprah in 1995, he said that his reasons for coming out were that he was tired of living life as a fake, constantly having to edit himself, and living with the fear that "How could anybody accept me if they really knew me." But after many years of living as a "fake" and hiding of his true self, Louganis realized that he wanted to live his life "openly and with honesty".

When Louganis came out as an openly gay male, he mostly did so for himself, in order to live authentically no matter what the reaction from others would be. By choosing courage over fear, he declared that he was worthy just as he was. What he didn't know was that his courage would inspire others to live an authentic life. On Tuesday's show, Oprah talked about a young man, Michael, who was 12 years old when Greg Louganis appeared on the 1995 show. When Michael heard Louganis speak about the reasons for his coming out and the need to live life authentically, he realized that being gay still meant that you were worthy of love and was no longer something to be feared. "I'd never seen another gay person. I thought I was the only one." Validation, inspiration, love and self-worth, were gifts that Louganis gave this young boy that day that allowed him to live a life without questioning his self-worth in the world and without fear of the day when he came out. He talked about how his mother asked him "Do you think you're gay?" and his response was "No, Mom. I don't think I'm gay. I know I'm gay." That is the response of a confident, self-assured young man.

Watching this show and the story of Louganis and Michael was a joy for me. It really showed how beneficial it is for your "self" to embrace who you are and to live your life with authenticity. It takes great courage to embrace our differences, our weaknesses, our vulnerability and expose them to others, but it is necessary to do so if we hope to live a life of authenticity, rather than a fake life in which we desperately try to morph into the socially-accepted norm in order to fit in.

By the way, as Dr Brené Brown explains in the video from my previous post, the word Courage from it's linguistic roots means "telling the story of who you are with your whole heart." Dr Brown also realized that the happiest people are those who "were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were (....) who fully embraced their vulnerability because they realized that "what made them vulnerable is also what made them beautiful."

So don't be afraid to spread your wings, embrace who you are, and shout it to the world. You happiness will be increase and you might become a role model who inspires others to do the same.

What are you going to do for your "Me" today?

Why the feeling of worthiness matters or "I am enough!"

I was all set to write about a reaction I got while watching an episode of the Oprah show today, when my friend Emma told me about this video. Beyond the fact that I truly enjoyed this wonderful speaker, it's the message that struck a cord with me.

It felt as though everything I had been trying to share through this blog was driven to the point in this particular talk. What was best articulated to me, was the truth that our own sense of worth has an impact not only on our own internal feelings of happiness and joy, but also on the world in which we live and the people we have connections with ("If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy").

It is so important to recognize that by loving ourselves as we are, by accepting our strengths and vulnerabilities, we are able to make ourselves stronger and more confident, and the power we get from that self-acceptance and self-love has a ripple effect on our ability to love and care for others and for the world we live in. As Dr Brown states: "We can't practice compassion with others if we can't treat ourselves kindly."

We, as individuals who treat our "Me" with the most gentle kindness and understanding, can have the power to transform our reality. Simply by accepting that you are beautiful just as you are, including your so-called flaws, and by acknowledging that you are worthy of love, affection, admiration, and kindness, you give yourself permission to tap into a power that is liberating and transforming. It takes courage to shup up the internal demons that tell you otherwise, but remember that the self-destructing thoughts are just that: thoughts and you can choose to listen to them, or to ignore them.

I invite you to take a deep look at your "Me", and to feel the love, because you are amazing, you are worthy, and you are enough just as you are.


Today I took care of "Me" by listening to some fun music and dancing and singing along. It always makes me happy when I dance and sing.

How about you? What have you done for your "Me" today?