Monday, January 24, 2011

Just be "Me"!

When was the last time you were really being your authentic self? If you're taking more than a few seconds to remember, then you might be in need of reclaiming your true "Me". Most days, we are all putting on an act to "be" someone that we might not necessarily be in order to fit in, or to pretend to "be" a certain way so as to not offend others. From putting a smile on our face when we really feel low, or saying "yes" when we really feel like "no". The problem is that every time we define ourselves to meet other's expectations, we lose our identity. So who is your real "Me"?

I've been struggling to define who my real "Me" is for the last year ever since I realized that I have spent many years trying to morph into a person that I wasn't. I was trying so hard to be like other people because I really wanted to "be" the person that I admire in them. One of my friend is an avid gardener and I admire the beauty of her gardens. I tried to garden and like it too, but I realize that I'm not and never will be a gardener. It's just not "Me". Diddo with many other things. Through the self-discovery process I started this year, I have realized how much of me is also defined by what I think other people would like me to be. Trying to love the same things as some of my friends so that they will love me and think I am worthy has been my guiding principle for a long time. But I have now realized that it's ok for me not to be like anyone else, and more important that no matter who "Me" is, I am worthy, I am special, and I am lovable for who I am. Making the decision to just be "Me" is liberating and empowering. So the question now is "What makes me "Me"?

At this point, I'm still trying to figure "Me" out, but a good starting point was to say, what do I truly like? What makes "Me" happy? What brings "Me" joy? Here's a short list of my "Me". It's an ever evolving list that I'm excited to compile as I start falling in love with "Me" again.

1. I am a reader
2. I am a food lover
3. I am a runner
4. I am a great friend
5. I am not a gardener (and that's ok)
6. I am not a homemaker (and that's ok too)
7. I love to sing and dance in my house, in my car
8. I am a dreamer
9. I am a mother
10. I am a wife

There are many more things that make "Me" a great person. What about you? Have you ever thought of writing down what makes you "You"? Try it, it's enlightening. In determining what makes you "You", it's important to listen to your gut feelings. If your head tells you that you really love gardening, but every time you see a spade, you feel deep down that you'd rather be running a half-marathon than playing in dirt, then listen to your gut reaction. It's ok to be different, and actually it's pretty awesome because by being different, we are all bringing into the world a very special piece that nobody else has.

Once you have started reconnecting with who you really are, then "BE" that person all the time. Honour the fact that what you are is different from others, and that it's ok. When you are truly acting like yourself, and really loving who you are, then it won't matter what others think or whether they will love you. If you love your "Me" then you won't need the validation of others to make you feel worthy and lovable. In a 1986 song by Whitney Houston titled "Greatest Love of All", the chorus declares that "Learning to love yourself/It is the greatest love of all." I couldn't agree more.

What I have done for "Me" so far today? I've lived in the moment, enjoyed a peaceful house, exercised and spent some time thinking about "Me". How about you? What have you done for your "Me" today?

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