I've never been good at setting goals for myself, and I've been even worse with keeping New Year's resolutions. Goal setting draws blanks in my mind, and when I do set a goal, I put pressure on myself to complete it and I beat myself up when I don't at which point panic sets in, I stop working towards the goal and feel like a complete failure. Resolutions feel the same, and inevitably, when I fall off the resolution wagon, I feel defeated that I have failed...yet again. So, experience makes one wiser, and tired of making myself feel like a total failure, I have decided that I will not this year have any resolutions. The term "Resolution" is so rigid and inflexible anyways, that I don't want to use it anymore. It beats down on my self-esteem and it seems to laugh at me whenever I attempt to use it ("You're gonna make a resolution again? Haven't you learned that you suck at keeping them? Didn't you vow to lose weight last year and ended up finishing the year 3 pounds heavier than last? As if YOU can keep a resolution!). So here's what I say to Resolution this year: "F.U. Resolution. I don't need you in my life. Go and harass someone else." Ah, that feels better!
One thing that struck me, though, at the stroke of midnight on January 1st, was how fun it is to take stoke of the things I accomplished last year, and to think of what I could possibly accomplish this year. The year is fresh and new, and I have 365 days to try and make my life as interesting and exciting as possible. This is opportunity I'm hoping I can take as much advantage of as I can. I do believe in evolving and making ME better and I really hope this coming year brings me experiences that will help me become a better person.
So even though I don't believe in resolutions anymore, there are some things I would like to work towards in 2012:
1. I want to work on my self-esteem and see it grow so I can be stronger than the voice of self-doubt and judgment that likes to nag at me from time to time and prevents me from loving ME.
2. I want to continue to appreciate and take care of ME, all of me, the good parts and the parts that still need working on.
3. I want to create more moments of happiness and spend less time worrying about things that don't really matter.
4. I want to spend more time laughing till my eyes cry and my belly aches, whether it be with family or friends.
5. Most of all, I want to work really hard at becoming more positive, optimistic and loving this year.
I know I can do this, and the key thing for me will be to live with intention every day. To start the morning by taking a big breath and saying: "Today I intend to be happy and to take care of ME".
Are there specific things I want to accomplish in 2012? For sure. Yes, I would like to lose weight, and I would also like to run two half-marathons this year....but honestly, the most specific thing I want to achieve is to stop beating myself up for everything I do or don't do, and to feel peace with the decisions I make.
I look forward to the opportunities this year will bring and to look back with a smile and feel proud for the things I did accomplish. Have a Happy New Year everyone. May it bring you and your family happiness, love and success.
2012 is a year full of opportunity for ME!
Showing posts with label success. Show all posts
Showing posts with label success. Show all posts
Monday, January 2, 2012
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Narcissistic, Selfish or just Plain Genius?
It's taken me some time to work up the courage to create this new blog. After all, who would be interested in reading the adventures of someone devoted to spending a whole lot of time working on her very important self? Who would care? And why would I be doing this in the first place? Sharing my intimate mental conversations with myself and what I do to make "Me" feel good no matter what the day brings might be just plain boring and unappealing to the masses.
But then again maybe not. After all, I believe that I am one of many women who consistently puts herself last on the to-do list, who has lost a sense of who she is under the pile of obligations, and who spends most days waging a war in her head between satisfying her needs versus that of others. If I'm right about this, then maybe my efforts at trying to put my "Me" back front and centre day after day can inspire other women (and maybe men) to do the same for themselves. Because, though it may sound narcisstic to want to spend a whole lot of time caring for "me", the reality is, as the eminent Dr Phil says: "If Mommy ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Now, I'm not a big fan of Dr Phil, but this is one statement that rings profoundly true to me.
My resolution this year, and at the onset of this journey, is to treat myself as though I would treat my best friend. Have you noticed how nice and generous we can be to the people we love most, and even to perfect strangers? We spend hours on end giving our whole to the benefit of others, without realizing that the person that needs nurturing the most is the "me" inside us. I have been a nurturer and a pleaser for most of my adult life. I did it with love, without restraint, I gave it my whole. In the process, I forgot about "Me". Physically, this has meant weight gain, body image issues and a slow descent into physical self-loathing. Emotionally, it has lead to frustrations, anger, anxiety and the feeling of being drained and having nothing left to give. And that, here, is the heart of the matter my friends: if you give out too much without putting anything in, your burn out and have nothing left to give.
So the journey on the path of learning the best ways to love, nurture and appreciate the "me" inside, is neither narcissistic nor selfish. In my humble opinion, it is plain and pure genius. Every day, I resolve to do one thing to take care of me and I will share my daily act of self-kindness. I'll be looking for ideas too, so don't be shy and help me out.
I hope that this journey will help me rediscover the great person that I am and in the process I know that by treating "me" with love and respect, it will make me a better wife, mother, daughter and friend.
Today's act of "Me" kindness: writing this blog. I very often let fear come in the way of achieving even the most simple of tasks, because I lack self-confidence. I often don't trust in my own power and prefer to let my worries over what others will think dominate my desire to do something just because it makes me happy. Each little step that I take in combating that fear brings me closer to my authentic "me" who wants to soar and be successful. So tonight's blog creation and blog entry is a defiant action to let go of self-reducing fears and choose to let "me" soar once again.
How about you? What have you done for your "me" today?
But then again maybe not. After all, I believe that I am one of many women who consistently puts herself last on the to-do list, who has lost a sense of who she is under the pile of obligations, and who spends most days waging a war in her head between satisfying her needs versus that of others. If I'm right about this, then maybe my efforts at trying to put my "Me" back front and centre day after day can inspire other women (and maybe men) to do the same for themselves. Because, though it may sound narcisstic to want to spend a whole lot of time caring for "me", the reality is, as the eminent Dr Phil says: "If Mommy ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Now, I'm not a big fan of Dr Phil, but this is one statement that rings profoundly true to me.
My resolution this year, and at the onset of this journey, is to treat myself as though I would treat my best friend. Have you noticed how nice and generous we can be to the people we love most, and even to perfect strangers? We spend hours on end giving our whole to the benefit of others, without realizing that the person that needs nurturing the most is the "me" inside us. I have been a nurturer and a pleaser for most of my adult life. I did it with love, without restraint, I gave it my whole. In the process, I forgot about "Me". Physically, this has meant weight gain, body image issues and a slow descent into physical self-loathing. Emotionally, it has lead to frustrations, anger, anxiety and the feeling of being drained and having nothing left to give. And that, here, is the heart of the matter my friends: if you give out too much without putting anything in, your burn out and have nothing left to give.
So the journey on the path of learning the best ways to love, nurture and appreciate the "me" inside, is neither narcissistic nor selfish. In my humble opinion, it is plain and pure genius. Every day, I resolve to do one thing to take care of me and I will share my daily act of self-kindness. I'll be looking for ideas too, so don't be shy and help me out.
I hope that this journey will help me rediscover the great person that I am and in the process I know that by treating "me" with love and respect, it will make me a better wife, mother, daughter and friend.
Today's act of "Me" kindness: writing this blog. I very often let fear come in the way of achieving even the most simple of tasks, because I lack self-confidence. I often don't trust in my own power and prefer to let my worries over what others will think dominate my desire to do something just because it makes me happy. Each little step that I take in combating that fear brings me closer to my authentic "me" who wants to soar and be successful. So tonight's blog creation and blog entry is a defiant action to let go of self-reducing fears and choose to let "me" soar once again.
How about you? What have you done for your "me" today?
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